Not Geting it Anywhere Else
by Who really Knows
Summary: Sasuke Uchiha is breaking the single most important rule of life: Thou shall not sleep with thy underlings and start a scandalous love affair. Even if the spankings are fantastic. WARNINGS INSIDE
1. Chapter 1

**Warnings: Dirty talk, BJ, Public play, some bondage, spanking, sexual harassment, teasing and possibly a thousand more things I'm not thinking about right now! XD **

**I'm hoping that the characters are not too OC, obviously with their life situations they're going to be a bit different. But I'm hoping that they're different in an understandable way, so you just review and let me know what you think about that.**

* * *

**Chapter One: The List**

Why was he here?

After ten seconds of questioning that for the hundredth time, Sasuke once again remembered Shikamaru's voice saying, "They said it would help boost company morale and something about a bonus for attendance or something, in other words the powers that be have spoken. Can I go home now?"

Damn Tsunade, she would use something like Ino's pushy personality against him. Lately his blonde wife was fretting more and more about finances now she was planning on going on an around the world trip-without him.

To be honest, Sasuke did not marry Ino because he loved her or other nonsense, but rather she just proved that she was worthy of the title over the years, not to mention she was apparently madly in love with him. However, once she conquered her goal of attaining him, she lost interest and anything resembling a love life had diminished over the years.

Now she was the proper trophy wife he always knew he'd have.

"Well I'm going to go now! Thanks for taking me out to drink guys! I worked really hard on that promotion!" The speaker hiccupped, and Sasuke almost rolled his eyes at the action and released a groan as said underling stumbled out of the door with other underlings attempting to help.

He was drunk, but you didn't see him stumbling around like that.

After the one idiot left other idiots seemed to follow until finally, thank God, he was the only one left in the private room rented for this "occasion" or whatever the company was calling it these days.

A snore penetrated the wonderful silence.

Sasuke glared around the room, noticing no sign of life. Another snore echoed around the room and he growled in frustration, lifting the tablecloth to confirm his suspicion. Some guy was leaning with his face against the table leg, drool dribbled down the side of his mouth and his face was tinged a pink color from the alcohol churning in his system. He jabbed a finger in the guys spiky blonde hair, smirking when the other man jumped in surprise and banged his head on the table.

"OW!" The blonde whined, Sasuke's breath hitched as bright blue eyes came into view, staring up at him in confusion. "You..."

His poor breathing didn't get any better when the blond put one hand on Sasuke's leg and guided himself out from under the table, pushing Sasuke's chair back at the same time, so that the end result was the blonde on his knees with his hands resting inches from Sasuke's thighs. Blue eyes blinked for a moment before a determined finger jabbed the boss in the nose.

"You! Why did you give him into it, not why did you...give him the up thing, the promotion." The blonde hiccupped, his accusing finger jabbing Sasuke in the chest this time."I worked so hard! I did everything that-"

At that moment, the guy nearly fell over and despite himself, Sasuke found his hands wrapping around the man's wrists and holding him still. Who was this guy? An underling, obviously, but normally he can tell some sort of recognition and he would never miss a being that looked like could feel his heart pounding, his breathing becoming slowly more uneven the more he looked at the man.

Oh, he was in for it.

"You, don't touch me bastard." The man pulled his hands away, placing them right back on Sasuke's legs, "Why are you laughing, who said you could laugh? You're really, like, just a fucking asshole. I hate you."

He should be furious, angry even, instead Sasuke found himself highly amused. "What's your name?"

"You don't know my name." The man glared, rising from his knees and coming close to Sasuke's face, "Figures you don't ass butt freak duck person." Sasuke rose an eyebrow at the insult."The name is Naruto! N-A-R-U-T-O! And you, how can you not remember me?! You know how you like your coffee is really stupid."

"How is it stupid?" Sasuke tilted his head to the side, finding himself enjoying the new angle of that heated blue gaze burning him.

"Because, your all just black. Who drinks their coffee black?! What's wrong with sugar? What are you too good for a little white sweet...stuff! Don't want to be like the rest of us or something'?" Sasuke's shoulders shook as a silent laughter overtook him. "Don't laugh at me!"

"How can I not laugh at you idiot." Sasuke declared, delighting in that frown pressing into Naruto's face. Just as sudden as it came, the amusement was gone. Replaced by a mood that was much...heavier. Sasuke, raised his hands to the side of Naruto's cheeks, making contact in the mists of the blonde's confusion. He leaned forward, pressing his lips against Naruto's.

Naruto pushed away, bumping his head against the table once again. "WHA-What was that for?"

Sasuke smirked, leaning forward, "Want to do it again?"

The answer was glorious.

* * *

How did things escalated so quickly?

One second Sasuke and Naruto were making out in the restaurant party room and the next, they were making out outside of a nearby hotel rooms door.

"Let me open—hm!" Sasuke shuddered as the blonde sunk his teeth in the crook of his neck, pulling at the hem of his shirt. Sasuke detached Naruto reluctantly, finally managing to open the door.

"Where you—woah!" Sasuke smirked as Naruto took in the nice decorations the room had to offer, close certainly did not mean cheap. Naruto was particularly in love with the flat screen TV and ran his hands across the screen with a look of awe.

"Hey." Sasuke called lowly, drawing the other man's attention. He traced one hand across his chest before pulling his shirt off and tossed it at Naruto who caught it with an audible swallow. He smirked, running a hand over his zipper, "3D is better than HD."

Naruto released a noise that might have been an agreement, his face painted a pure red as his chest heaved with anticipation. Sasuke held back a chuckle as he pulled his pants down and sat on the bed.

Naruto shifted nervously, his eyes glancing back and forth from the wall to Sasuke's body. "I—I've never, you know, done this before and it's been...sometime." Naruto frowned and his hands—still drowning in Sasuke's shirt—tracked lower over his stomach.

"Worried that your fat?" Sasuke cocked an eyebrow in disbelief, Naruto looked like he was in good shape.

"Shut-up!" Naruto momentarily forgot Sasuke's nakedness as he turned from the wall to glare at him only to blush madly and fixed his head on the cream colored walls again. "Sakura says I should lose like twenty pounds max, that's all."

Sasuke didn't care for this Sakura person, she was interfering with what might be the best sex he's had in a long time.

"Look at me." Sasuke commanded, Naruto obeyed reluctantly, fidgeting in place. He focused on those blue eye, silently translating his utter attraction, "Undress."

The word was just a word, and yet the blonde shivered at its sound.

Naruto slowly dropped Sasuke's shirt on the floor, still staring at the wall as his fingers traced the outline of his zipper. The finger found it's way to his belt buckle, and Sasuke smirked as Naruto's face flushed when the belt clanged to the floor.

He was shy, Sasuke's never been with a shy one before.

It seemed like years passed before the pants were on the floor, and Naruto was standing there in nothing but his underwear and white button up shirt. "Leave the shirt." Naruto turned to face him with a shuddering breath and Sasuke fixed him with his best come hither stare.

Which was the best come hither stare.

Naruto had no choice, he climbed onto the bed without an inch of insecurity or worry thriving in his system.

And let the alcohol and his boss carry him into heaven.

* * *

He never should have had so much to drink.

It would have been more productive to have that thought before stumbling into bed with a very cute insulting henchman—who he hoped was cute and the alcohol goggles weren't fogging up his eyes.

This wasn't the first time, Sasuke had done this before. "This" being the act of sleeping with a member of the same sex under the cold fingers of influence, but this was different. This was someone who actually knew his name and could tell his wife of all people. If she cared? She might.

"This" was becoming a potential problem.

He decided enough was enough, it was time to deal with the big fat possible blackmail situation snoozing next to him in bed. With that thought in mind, he reluctantly cracked open one eye, mesmerized.

Well, cute was a check on the list.

Naruto —that was the name right?—was lightly snoring with drool covering one cheek while straddling a pillow and mumbling something about "damn cat scratches".

Horribly, terribly cute.

It was a shame Sasuke would have to put the fear of imminent death into him. What? Like he had a choice, the only choice was to wake up the blond...in a minute, and confront the issue head on.

Even that choice was stolen from him.

"Huh?" Naruto blinked, taking in his surroundings, those stupid blue eyes casted their hooks into Sasuke once again and all he could do was watch as they widened in obvious panic. "What the hell!"

Sasuke groaned, earning Naruto's attention who's mouth immediately opened but Sasuke shot his hand out and covered that loud mouth before it could say anything more. "Calm down. Don't be such a loser."

Naruto shoved his hand away, too shocked to even be mad that he was just called a loser. "You...and, and me, we—OH God!" Naruto's hands ran through his hair in distress as he sat up, effectively revealing his lower back, drawing all of Sasuke's attention there.

He didn't need alcohol for this one.

"What am I going to tell Sakura!"

"Sakura?" He shook his head as Naruto blinked at him with a glare on his face. Sasuke seriously considered that word vomit might be contagious. He never meant to ask, he was going to let Naruto continue freaking out while sneaking peeks at his body.

There was no problem with that.

"My wife?" Sasuke raised a skeptical eyebrow, "Hey! What's that look supposed to mean? It's not like I'm, you know! I've never done this before, like you!" It was Sasuke's turn to blink while Naruto blushed and looked away, "I remember a lot of last night, do you?"

Moans, roaming hands, pleads for him to go harder —all the glimpses filled Sasuke's head and he couldn't help but smirk with a "Hn."

"Stop smirking asshole!" Naruto attempted to smack him with a stray pillow, only to be blindsided by Sasuke's pillow. What a weak try, maybe next time Naruto. Next time? Did that pass through his head? "How can you be so comfortable? Why am I the only one freaked out?"

That—was actually a good point. But look at that skin, those appetizing peeking full asscheeks, and God he's so cute. Maybe he wasn't comfortable, just distracted. "I don't freak out."

"Yes you do." Naruto crossed his arms and leaned back against the headboard, blocking Sasuke's amazing view. "I've seen you on a deadline day when we have less than six hours to prepare a full on presentation that at least one person is always behind on. You're stand up all the way, start pacing, you mess around with your watch and your face goes from stoic to angry at everything that passes by. I know you!"

That's right, Naruto knows him.

"What's this?"

"Hn?"

"This." Naruto suddenly shoved a folded paper in his face with the words "S AND N ONLY" scribbled on the top. S and N? Where the hell did that come from? Was he that drunk? "I don't remember it, do you?"

Sasuke raised an eyebrow, there were more interesting things to remember than a piece of paper...like the way those eyes looked squinting open and shut in a struggle with pleasure and requests.

"Look." Naruto leaned in closer, causing Sasuke to put his self-control into the working gear and actually look at the paper in front of him. The paper was divided in half with Sasuke's name on the right side and Naruto's on the other. Underneath that was what only could be described as a list, the words "dirty talk" and "regular blowjob" were crossed out.

Oh yeah, the blow job.

Something Ino never did, something he'd never had before and now he could barely remember it. How disappointing. "This is stuff that —" Naruto blushed, his words lost in embarrassment as he continued to read down the very dirty and increasingly detailed list. "Sakura would never...you know?"

"Same."

"So this list is, you know, stuff we want but don't get." Stating the obvious, Sasuke almost commented but that mischievous glint in Naruto's eye stopped him. "Are you an exhibitionist? A lot of this is public sex Sasuke..."

Sasuke pointed one finger at the paper and stated, "Bondage."

"Sh—shut up!" Naruto blushed, releasing the paper so that it fluttered on top of Sasuke's stomach. "That's a more normal thing you know! Its not crazy,people do it all the time! When do people have public sex other than porno's? Pervert."

"Defensive." Sasuke smirked, dodging another pillow smacking attempt with ease.

Naruto sighed, separating a sheet from the comforter covering Sasuke and wrapping it around himself. "You can't tell anyone about this! If Sakura found out she would kill me, especially-oh God I don't even want to think about it. Ino would bulldoze me."

Sasuke watched as Naruto through his clothes on the floor, "You know my wife?"

Naruto turned towards him with a glare, waving his hands around in the mists of his explanation, "Sasuke I was at your wedding, my wife is your wife's best friend, I went to highschool with Ino...you really suck at remembering people."

"Hn." That was strange, Sasuke was sure that meeting Naruto isn't something someone forgets.

"I see you everyday, I've been to every stupid party-your parties are lame by the way, I may as well be in a sewing circle talking about cats with a bunch of grandmas-the point is, you still don't remember me! Cause your an asshole!"

Sasuke had no reply to that, if he were more objective than he would have realized that in all of those scenarios he was zoned out into his fog of escape. Which is where he practically spent his whole life.

Excluding last night, that was an exception.

"I'll see you at work Monday." Naruto shifted awkwardly, now fully dressed and playing with his keys. "Let's forget this happened..."The hotel door slammed shut, blocking the blonde from view any longer, leaving Sasuke naked in bed with a curious note resting in his hands and a surprising realization.

This wasn't over.

* * *

**THERE IS A SEX SCENE HERE! You just don't get to read it yet :P Not for a few chapters in flashback form sorry XD**

**But more sexual things happen in-between. I've never really done this before, so go easy on me and if you have any comments about the sexiness of my sex scenes please share, as long as its constructive and not just "Bleh, that sucked" I want to know WHY! **

**Peace out.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Don't hate me! XD**

* * *

**Chapter Two: Naruto's Bad (Week)end**

"Kiba I...uh...kinda need a favor." Naruto was sitting in his car after making the walk back to the restaurant from the hotel. He didn't feel like asking Sasuke for a ride and was especially ashamed of himself for getting in a car when they were both drunk in the first place after all those promises he'd made to his daughter, Mebuki.

"Only if you promise to help me out at the dog pound tomorrow." Naruto groaned, Kiba was always trying to loop people into helping him out,and why not? What could be more awesome than hanging out with a bunch of dogs for a day? But one time was all it took to send them running to the hills never to return.

Unfortunately, it looked like Naruto would have to return. "Fine."

"So what's the favor?"

"I need you to tell Sakura that I called you, drunk, rambling about stuff and that you came to pick me up at the restaurant where we had your birthday party last year and took me to your place because I wouldn't go home. And that I'm coming home now."

"Woah, hold it, where did you spend the night at last night?" He could practically hear the smile on Kiba's face. Besides being Naruto's only single friend, Kiba also held the title of being the only one of his friends who had a problem with Sakura. Something about her being a "tricky bitch" one time that ended up with him getting hit over the head with a frying pan back in high school.

Naruto didn't ask and he still doesn't want to know.

"I...uhh..." He drummed his hands on the steering wheel, searching for an answer. "I took a waitress to a hotel, I'm not sure that we did anything...but...yeah."

"Oh man, well did you shower? You probably smell like booze, women and sex- as much as I want it to smell like that, my house just doesn't."

"No, I didn't." He didn't want to spend anymore time with Sasuke, it was already weird enough waking up next to him. "Damn, why didn't I think about it?!"

"Because you don't think? Come shower at my house and uh, you can tell me all about the nameless waitress..." Naruto cringed, running a images of women's body parts in his head to put together a story for his friend. Should she have a name? Would he remember that? Probably not.

"Okay, and Kiba, don't tell any of the other guys about this. If you do, I'm going to cut off your balls and throw them in a river for fish to eat."

"Would that be before or after Sakura cut off your balls and threw you in a river?"

"Shut-up! And get some hang-over remedies ready, it's not bad but it's starting to kill me." With that, he hung up, cursing himself again.

Sakura was going to kill him.

* * *

"I am going to kill you Naruto!"

After an hour and thirty minutes of being at Kiba's house and the trek back home on the stupid highway, this was not how Naruto wanted to return home. But he knew that it was going to be hell from the get go.

"I'm sorry Sakura!" He cowered under the shadows of a lamp being held up by his wife's strong fingers. "Mebuki is home right? I don't want her to see this!" **(1)**

Sakura set the lamp back on the table, taking seat on the couch with her arms crossed over her chest. He noted that she was still wearing her green silk pajamas and hadn't even brushed her hair-he didn't know that she cared that much.

It was kind of nice to know.

" I can't believe I married such an idiot, I had to spend all night convincing Mebuki that you were okay and on your way home before she would go to sleep, I managed to get an hour of sleep before Kiba called telling me how you didn't want to come home. Well guess what, I don't want to come home either but we have a daughter and a fucking house and responsibility! It's called being an adult!"

Or not.

"Sakura, it was this once, I haven't done that since Mebuki was born..." He attempted to enter the living room, but the force of her glare stopped him in his tracks. "Come on!"

"Don't tell me to come on!" Sakura ran a hand through her hair with an exasperated laugh, "I bet you don't even remember..."

"Remember what?"

"Yesterday was my Mother's birthday, you were supposed to go to the company party and stay for an hour then come home to take us to her birthday party at 10 o'clock." Sakura stood up, heading for the hallway while throwing the last blow over her shoulder, "But I had to call her and explain that my stupid husband was God knows where, probably drunk of his ass. So thanks for that, I appreciate it."

If he didn't feel like shit before, he felt like it now.

* * *

By the time Monday rolled around again Sakura was still pissed off. He loved her and most of the time their relationship was pretty decent but when they fought everything fell apart at once and it took forever for things to get back to where they were.

Then there was work to deal with, and that meant Sasuke.

"How was your weekend?"

"Huh?" Naruto blinked, glancing at the cubicle behind him where Shikamaru was lounging in his office chair, staring at him. "It was a normal weekend."

"Ino called me and nagged for a full hour about how I needed to get on your ass or something, because I'm technically your boss. I tried to explain that the only boss around was Sasuke, she didn't buy it."

"Great." Naruto groaned, now Shikamaru knew and if Shikamaru knew then Choji probably did too which meant their wives knew and their wives would spread the word to other wives who would then tell their husbands who were his friends. "I got a little drunk, it won't happen again , she's blowing this all out of proportion."

"You're not hearing anything from me about it, I'm not going to nag you."

Naruto breathed a sigh of relief, "Thanks."

"Kiba called right after Ino did." Naruto blinked, turning towards Shikamaru who was now casually making his way to the coffee pot he specifically placed on the outside of his cubicle for lazy reasons. "He had some pretty interesting things to share."

"Really?" Naruto laughed, imagining what it would be like to kill Kiba. Especially after a day of picking up dog shit. "What was so interesting?"

"He said that you didn't spend the night at his house, so I was thinking. If you didn't spend the night at my house, or Choji's, Sai's, Gaara's, or even Shino's then where were you all night?"

Shikamaru was a laid back guy who minded his own business, that's why Sasuke hired him and promoted him in the first place, but he there were things he had little tolerance for. Which included cheating on your spouse. "I was..."

"Where did you get that belt?"

Naruto looked down at his belt and up at Shikamaru again, wondering why the hell his clothes were so important. "My closet? Why?"

"Nothing." Shikamaru shrugged, setting the coffee on Naruto's desk, "It looks like one of the belts Sasuke had me get for him to wear to the company party last Friday. As a matter of fact, it looks exactly the same."

Naruto stared down at the belt, praying he didn't look as nervous as he felt. "Why would you say that?"

Shikamaru pointed at the buckle, "Because it has his initials right there."

For the first time in his life, Naruto couldn't breathe. "Okay...well I sort of swapped belts with Sasuke."

"You suck at lying, try again."

"Fine!" Naruto groaned, "Do we have to talk about this here?"

Shikamaru sat down in his rolly office chair with an indifferent aura, "Everyone's on lunch break, so talk."

"It's lunch time?" Naruto looked at the clock, damn no wonder Shikamaru asked him about his weekend. He never forgot lunch. "Well, I kind of went to a hotel with Sasuke...but we didn't do anything, it was just stupid drunk crap and I didn't want to go home because I was all pissed off that I didn't get the promotion, you know?"

Shikamaru studied him and even though Naruto was a terrible liar there seemed to be enough truth in the statement to smooth over the trouble areas. "Somehow you ended up with Sasuke's belt, but you two didn't do anything that would involve taking off your clothes-"

"-except stupid drunk stuff." Naruto interrupted. For the record, he did count their encounter as "stupid drunk stuff" because what else would you call it? An affair? Hardly.

Shikamaru sighed, rubbing his forehead,"Fine, let's hope for your sake that you don't get fired. Uchiha is a touchy guy and it sounds like you did some shit that would embarrass him. Let's drop it for now, stay out of his way for a couple of days and hope for the best."

"Sounds like a plan." Naruto agreed, staring at his coffee cup.

"Naruto." He looked over at Shikamaru who pointed at his pants, "You should probably take the belt off, don't worry about returning it. That guy has more clothes than my wife."

Naruto blushed as he struggled with the buckle, this was turning out to be a shit week.

* * *

Shit week didn't even cut it.

Sasuke seemed more determined than ever to see him, talk to him, and inappropriately graze his fingers along his lower back when no one was paying any attention as they passed each other in the halls. Would Sakura kill him if he quit?

That was the most stupid question he'd ever asked in his life, even to himself.

Shikamaru was still a concern. He bought Naruto's story, who would want to believe that their incredibly straight married friend had a one night stand with their incredibly straight married boss who said friend hated? No one.

Not even Shikamaru.

But Naruto wasn't about to underestimate the guy, especially since out of everyone in the office he had the most contact with Sasuke every day and could probably read him like a single sentence, he was way beyond reading him like a book that was for sure.

Bastard was putting both of their asses on a very thin line!

So Naruto, in a moment of panic, hid behind a large potted plant and tackled the Uchiha into an office supply closet when most of the office abandoned the building for lunch.

Did you know that Sasuke happens to be a black belt? Naruto sure didn't. "Sa-Sasuke! It's Naruto." He choked, there was a pain spreading in his stomach where Sasuke punched him, and now he was being held in some kind of crushing hold.

"Naruto?" Sasuke questioned, releasing him instantly. Naruto took a moment to breathe as his boss turned on the lights. With a fleeting glance and a double take, Naruto noticed the infamous smug smirk Sasuke wore so well.

Very well.

"I didn't pull you in here for anything like that!" Naruto blushed, quieting himself down. He wasn't exactly sure where Shikamaru disappeared to for lunch, normally he preferred to hang out in his office area. "You have to stop touching me and stuff okay! Shikamaru is really suspicious already!"

Sasuke only frowned, shoving his hands in his pockets. Naruto found himself making a mental note-how the single action drew all attention to his crotch- and had to desperately turn towards the wall so he would not stare. "Hn. That explains his question this morning."

"What question?" Naruto said to the wall where a tacky little calendar was sprawled out and torn. Wednesday already? It should at least be a Thursday.

"Something about one of my belts missing." Naruto blinked, still facing the wall, as he felt the hairs on his neck stand to attention. Sasuke was eyeing him, really, really eyeing him. "If you want my belt, you can keep it."

"No, that's okay." Naruto shook his head, shifting his feet, "You can have it back, it's sitting in my bottom desk drawer."

"Naruto."

"Hm?"

"As your boss." Naruto nearly jumped out of his skin as the distinct heat of breath brushed against his sensitive ears, "I'm ordering you to keep it."

Naruto could feel his heartbeat pulsing in his throat, and his breathing deepen. Sasuke wasn't touching him, but the heat of his body was radiating in captivating waves, curling around Naruto in strings of shivers.

"Naruto, look at me." Don't do it-Naruto squeezed his eyes shut, pleading with his continuous chant. He felt a hand-Sasuke's hand- press a thumb against the front of his teeth, penetrating his mouth. A shudder ran down the length of his spine as the thumb ran circles across his lips. "em"

Sasuke gripped the back of his shirt, resting his fore-head against the other as their breath mingled in the inches separating them. The hand snaked it's way between the buttons of his shirt, caressing his stomach with feathery touches. "Sasuke."

The hand moved further down, "Look at me."

Naruto obeyed, Sasuke leaned closer, the hand pushed passed the hem of his pants and grabbed his length, stroking once. "AH!" Naruto bucked up, whimpering.

The hand was gone, taking the sweet heat with it and leaving Naruto gawking at the back of Sasuke's head as the man strolled out of the door without a second glance. "Take the rest of the day off."

What the hell?

* * *

**1. I don't know what the fuck to name people's kids half the time, just settle with names from parents for now XD**

**How am I doing? Am I doing okay with the sexness? Or is it ehhh? (if it is, I'll re-write it some and re-post)**


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